ARMY OF THE POTOMAC ENEMY #11: "PIED PIPER REB"
Beware the melodious tones of this sinister soldier! "Pied Piper Reb" is really Pvt. Peter Zamphir, a son of Pan whose sonorous songs softly swelling in sylvan settings sweetly send entire battalions to sleep. They wake up relieved of weapons and valuables and on the way to Andersonville!
The following information is from debriefings of captured Reb personnel: Pied Piper Reb is originally from Aeolia, Greece, where he read about our Civil War in the papers. Thinking the entire South was littered with plantations in the Greek Revival style, his traitorous sympathies became immediately apparent. He booked passage on a ship using an assumed name ("Posidon Odysseus"), and upon making port in Charleston, South Carolina, immediately enlisted in the 5th "Morpheus" Regiment.
Refusing to play "taps" in the evening (out of a hatred of all things Northern), Pvt. Zamphir quickly noticed that his musical musings on the flute lulled his fellow Rebs to sleep. (Note: He is shown in the accompanying tintype playing a tin whistle, although he is a master of the flute and pan pipes as well). Thinking he could be of service to his country in this way, he soon began playing his flute so that the mellifluous tones would waft their way to Federal lines, putting all to sleep in the stillness and heat that normally accompanies an active campaign, and making the troops subject to an easy capture by the Morpheus boys.
Pied Piper Reb is easily identified upon removal of his kepi: The two little horns a-sprouting from tufts of curly hair offer proof positive that you have captured no ordinary Reb.
Unlike most of the Rebs profiled in this manual, Pied Piper Reb can be thwarted easily with the use of earmuffs and bouncy, perky music from Federal regimental bands playing such tunes as "Rally 'Round the Flag," "Old Dan Tucker" and, ironically enough, "Dixie." An AoP-wide directive to accomplish this has since been issued by headquarters.