ARMY OF THE POTOMAC ENEMY #3: "ABUSIVE REB"
Many Yanks have publicly stated that they would rather die in battle than be taken alive by Abusive Reb - with good reason. A harsh taskmaster, this self-proclaimed gay blade of the Confederacy employs whips, handcuffs and mail order novelties to embarrass and humiliate captured Federal troops.
The Army of the Potomac's most recent encounter with Abusive Reb occurred in a rear guard action during the Federal retreat after the battle of Second Bull Run. Defiantly waving his cavalry sabre from atop his horse, Abusive Reb verbally taunted the remaining members of the 5th New York (zouaves), calling them "Girlie men" and accusing them of "dressing tacky." After shouting that "the zouave fashion statement is O-U-T this year," the men of the 5th were driven to a futile, suicidal attack upon the Confederate works in an effort to silence Abusive Reb's taunts.
Abusive Reb is believed to be Cpl. Adrian G. Chippendale, a former resident of San Francisco who travelled South and enlisted in the Confederacy after the surrender of Fort Sumter. Also, latest intelligence indicates he is a member of the 22nd Georgia Volunteers, but as his nefarious activities take him into the ranks of many Confederate regiments it is impossible to be certain of his allegiance.
When on furlough, Abusive Reb may be found in one of the many Richmond public bathhouses, drumming up recruits for his covert secessionist group "the Bathhouse Boys." The Bathhouse Boys use extraordinary and unmentionable techniques to further the work of treason, and Secretary of War Stanton has determined that this group constitutes a menace to the public safety of the Chief Executive. By Executive Order, any member of the Bathhouse Boys taken prisoner is declared an outlaw and not subject to the normal procedures concerning captured enemies. If captured, Abusive Reb is to be executed immediately!